Wednesday, September 6, 2023

What if My Partner Doesn't Want to Attend Couples Counselling

It can be challenging when a partner is hesitant about therapy. If this is a situation you are facing, having a clear concise, open, and honest conversation about their concerns and reservations is important. Even if you don't agree with your partner's point of view, it is important to validate their feelings. 

When your partner doesn't want to attend couples counselling there are a variety of steps you can consider taking:

Listen and be open to explore your partner’s thoughts and reasons for their hesitation or reluctance to go to counselling. Identify your partners concerns: If there a question about how effective therapy can be for a couple? Or is there a fear of being vulnerable or judged?  It can be important to relate the benefits of therapy and how it has been proven to show over decades of research, numerous improvement relationships. It can be extremely helpful to let your partner know their feelings are important to you and they are  comfortable with the therapist.

When you are looking for a qualified counsellor in British Columbia, using a web site that is a governing body for members, identifies and verifies credentials as well as areas of specialty and research is important. The British Columbia Clinical CounsellorsAssociation and counsellors who are certified members of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association are great online resources to utilize.  Decades of research support the improvement of a relationship with counselling. If you and your partner are wanting a lifetime relationship, finding the right therapist, with the skills and experience to support you can truly help you achieve your goals.

With counselling, a couple can start with a few trail sessions to give your hesitant partner an idea of to expect in counselling. Both partners must be invested and feel comfortable with the counselling process. Being collaborative is key to a couple’s success.

Another option includes getting individual therapy for yourself. Working through your own emotions and relationship concerns with a therapist can provide and support you with various options and skills to improve your relationship. Men also work well in a group format.  Group counselling for men may be an option.

There is also the possibility your partner could attend therapy themselves to address issues or concerns they feel are affecting your relationship. Addressing these issues first can open the door for counselling as a couple.

Seeking other sources of support via credible online resources, support groups or self-help books may be an option to start.

Therapy isthe most effective when both partners are committed and work together. Being supportive of each others needs and concerns is a key piece in the counselling process.

When you have an effective counsellor, you can both grow in ways you had not anticipated but will be grateful for. Ultimately, therapy is a personal choice and it’s important to understand you cannot force your partner to attend.

It is important for you to prioritize your mental health and you can communicate or express your relationship concerns to your partner. Asking for help can make all the difference. Finding the person who is ready to be in the relationship and wants to achieve the same relationship goals, is committed to working together for that relationship takes maturity, insight and resilience. Finding the right kind of help through counselling can be life changing.

Visit Dr. Michael Dadson at for more information on couples counselling.

Or if there has been trauma in either your past or your partner's past visit Dr. Dadson's trauma therapywebsite 

Often it can be a difficult decision to see a counsellor or therapist for help. When a person opens their life to a person they don’t know, it can be unnerving. What Dr. Mike Dadson works for people to know he will accept them for who they are without conditions. Dr. Dadson will listen to where you are at in your life and where you want to be in the future with your goals and dreams. Dr. Dadson will do everything he can to help you achieve your goals in a way that is comfortable and relaxed and hopefully you will enjoy the process of learning new skills, growing and take pleasure in how new skills can help to transform your life.

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