Three Ways Counselling Can Help

By Michael Dadson, PhD, RCC, CCC

You don’t have to know exactly what you need before you meet with a counsellor. You may know that something has changed in how you feel or how you get along with people, and that what you’ve tried on your own hasn’t been enough. A counsellor can help you understand what’s happening and begin to decide what you want to do about it. Here are three ways that work can take shape.

1. Understand a pattern that keeps causing difficulty

You might find yourself coming away from conversations with the same feeling, even when the people and circumstances are different. I’d ask you to tell me about one of those conversations so we can understand what happened, what you took it to mean, and how you responded. What you’ve come to expect from people may be part of the picture. So may the way people are treating you now. Looking at both can help us understand why the difficulty keeps coming up and where there may be room for change.

2. Make sense of feelings that are hard to put into words

You may know that something upset you and still be unsure which part of it has stayed with you. As we talk, I can help you stay with what you’re feeling long enough to find words for it. There may be a loss you haven’t had much room to talk about, or something important to you that others haven’t understood. What we discover has to make sense to you. I can tell you what I’m hearing, and you can tell me where I’ve understood you and where I’ve missed something.

3. Work toward a change that matters in your life

“I want to feel better” is enough to begin. As I get to know you, we can talk about what feeling better would make possible. If you’ve been pulling away from people you care about, you might want to feel able to spend time with them again. We can look at what makes that difficult now, what feels possible, and whether the changes you notice are taking you in a direction that matters to you.

Research on adult psychotherapy has found an association between a stronger working relationship and better outcomes. That’s one reason I pay attention to whether you feel understood and whether we agree on what we’re working toward.

If you’re considering reaching out, you can read what to expect in a first counselling session at Gentle Currents Therapy.

Why People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Are Quick to Cut People Out of Their Lives.

                                    Photo: Andree Hunter

Previous research has shown that cutting a large number of people out of one's life takes a toll in many ways.

According to Psychology Today:

One of the major disorders of personality, attributed to problems during development, is borderline personality, (BPD) characterized by a tendency to quickly and often unpredictably oscillate between love and hate for others, subpar emotional regulation, and consistent problems in interpersonal relationships (see Carlson et al., 2009).

Further, in a recent study (Sung et al., 2021), the author's hypothesis suggests “If impulsivity, borderline tendencies, risk-taking, and fast life history strategy were all present in an individual's personality, then this would lead to a higher number of estrangements in that individual’s life” . Findings suggest “The more borderline tendencies someone had, the more estrangements he or she had in life”.

•  What the impacts are when you estrange yourself from most of your social contacts
• Studies suggest BPD (borderline personality disorder), is a predicting factor  

Reserch published over the last 20 years are reviewed in the article “ The Role of Trauma in Early OnsetBorderline Personality Disorder” (Bozzatello et al., 2021) outlining the relationship role of childhood trauma and BPD.

Visit Dr. Dadon's Trauma Therapy Clinic website here to learn more about the impact of trauma.

  In the video below Dr. Dadson reviews the impact of unresolved trauma.

Dr. Michael Dadson graduated from The University of British Columbia in 2013. Dr. Dadson has been a Registered Clinical Counsellor with the BC Association of Clinic Counsellors since 2000 and is a certified member of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. Dr. Dadson is a trauma informed therapist who was the former Director and Contractor with the Veterans Transition Network (2013-2020) . Additionally Michael Dadson was a named fellow (2017) and active member of the Board of Directors for the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (2016-2017) .

To learn more about BPD, follow these 2 links:

1. https://twitter.com/DadsonMichael/status/1404185450277851139

2. https://twitter.com/PsychToday/status/1438716591861116936 

 #DrMichaeldadson #Michaeldadson #Drmikedadson #Mikedadson #Drdadson #Langley #counselling #Gentlecurrentstherapy 

Understanding Your Child's Learning Styles

A good article from Web MD on "Understanding Your Child's Learning Style"

Recognizing your child's learning style can support their  well being and long term outcomes in school. Below are tips to help. 

Does your child have difficulty spelling or can't sit still? Children have many different learning styles that can be a factor.

According to Web MD, "In some cases, it may even help do away with labels, like attention deficit disorder (ADD) and learning disabled (LD)."

Follow the link to understand and identify, how your child learns, what their strengths are and how you can support their learning outcomes. 

#Langleycounselling #childrenslearningstyle #Drmichaeldadson #Mikedadson #counsellor